Author Topic: The Don Howard Awards (Read 3099 times)

Don Howard · « **on:** June 07, 2009, 10:55:15 AM »

Good morning. In answer to exactly zero requests, it is time to announce the winners of the 2nd annual awarding of The Don Howard Awards. All winners were selected by Don Howard. Here now the winners of The Don Howard Awards:

* THE DAN ENRIGHT AWARD FOR SUSPICIOUS BALLOTING: Howie Mandel and Rich Fields (host and announcer for The Game Show Awards on GSN: The Network For Games) win the Game Show Awards for best host and announcer.

* THE ANDREA McARDLE AWARD: Bob Barker ("I am now THE McArdle!!!!")

* THE FACEBOOK CURSE AWARD: Jeopardy! champion Larissa Kelly, who rejected my Facebook friend request and went on to lose in the Tournament Of Champions. Karma's a killer, isn't it? Just try getting by on that petty $100K.

* THE BRUCE FORSYTH AWARD: Matt Ottinger's Masters of the Obvious

* THE LEE BOWMAN AWARD FOR LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT IN HOSTING: Bob Hastings for the opening weeks of Dealer's Choice. Accepting on Bob's behalf is Blake Emmons.

* THE JANE NELSON AWARD FOR HOTTEST HOSTESS: Once again, this goes to Catch 21's Mikki Padilla, who in the latest slate of shows has reigned in the exuberance a bit and is more fetching than ever.

* THE MIKE DARROW AWARD FOR BEST HOST AND ANNOUNCER: Jack Clark, who excelled at both and was a very nice man.

* BEST USE OF A TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY: The sound going out during a good portion of Bob Barker's LEGEND! award commemoration during The Game Show Awards. I can only imagine what was going through his mind if he was watching at home.

* THE HARMON R. WHITTLE AWARD: To The Kristin, who always served me my big tall cold glass of Bud Light with a smile at bw-3 during the final stage of my drinking days. The smile had nothing to do with the Super Jackpot I'd tack onto my credit card as a tip when the bender was dying down at closing time.

These have been The Don Howard Awards. This is Don Howard speaking.

(In an off-internet ceremony, Eva Angelina won The Carmen Luvana After Dark Award. This ceremony was conducted off-line so as not to offend anyone. However, simply type the above listed names into your search engine and you'll discover why they're winners both).

TheInquisitiveOne · « **Reply #1 on:** June 07, 2009, 03:42:56 PM »

Posts like this one Don, are what make you awesome! Very well played.

The Inquisitive One

/suspicious balloting, indeed.
//come on! Rich Fields, over the likes of Olson, Wood, Gilbert, Roddy, and O'Donnell?
///EPIC FAIL.

J.R. · « **Reply #2 on:** June 07, 2009, 05:32:01 PM »

When will this be televised? I would much rather watch this award show than GSN's "attempt".

chris319 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 07, 2009, 07:47:08 PM »

Has it been a year? I had totally forgotten about last year's awards.

Where is the award for Musical Pedophilia?

SRIV94 · « **Reply #4 on:** June 07, 2009, 08:46:13 PM »

Dang! How did the Cubs not get nominated this year?

/101 years.
//And counting.

Sodboy13 · « **Reply #5 on:** June 07, 2009, 09:51:09 PM »

[quote name=\'chris319\' post=\'217421\' date=\'Jun 7 2009, 06:47 PM\']Has it been a year? I had totally forgotten about last year's awards.

Where is the award for Musical Pedophilia?[/quote]

I sense an anxious nominee.

/Have a seat.

DrBear · « **Reply #6 on:** June 07, 2009, 10:25:34 PM »

I'm sure they'd be prouder of winning this fine award if the award wasn't a nude statue of Don Howard.

NickS · « **Reply #7 on:** June 07, 2009, 10:26:55 PM »

[quote name=\'Don Howard\' post=\'217393\' date=\'Jun 7 2009, 09:55 AM\'](In an off-internet ceremony, Eva Angelina won The Carmen Luvana After Dark Award. This ceremony was conducted off-line so as not to offend anyone. However, simply type the above listed names into your search engine and you'll discover why they're winners both).[/quote]

Uh, Don - we(well, if you want to count yourself out for this one, fine)'re all winners for this category.

TimK2003 · « **Reply #8 on:** June 08, 2009, 08:54:23 AM »

And condolences for Susan Lucci, for not winning the Best Game Show Soap Opera Celebrity award nor the Best Saturday Night Live Game Show Parody Civilian Player award.

That latter award once again went to Sigfried & Roy's four-legged feline friend.

Don Howard · « **Reply #9 on:** June 08, 2009, 11:15:33 AM »

[quote name=\'TimK2003\' post=\'217487\' date=\'Jun 8 2009, 08:54 AM\']And condolences for Susan Lucci, for not winning the Best Game Show Soap Opera Celebrity award nor the Best Saturday Night Live Game Show Parody Civilian Player award.
That latter award once again went to Sigfried & Roy's four-legged feline friend.[/quote]
There were no such awards in this ceremony. Had there been, I would have listed them.
However, you have made yourself eligible for next year's JIANORAN award.

clemon79 · « **Reply #10 on:** June 08, 2009, 02:44:14 PM »

[quote name=\'Don Howard\' post=\'217500\' date=\'Jun 8 2009, 08:15 AM\']However, you have made yourself eligible for next year's JIANORAN award.[/quote]
I lol'd. Hard.