POLITICAL SATIRIST TO HOST GAME SHOW
"The Krypton Franken" to debut on ABC this month
By Unita Chekfax
Political satirist Al Franken, fresh from the debut of his new syndicated radio show "The O'Franken Factor" on the Air America network, just can't resist taking on Big Media yet again.
First Rush Limbaugh, then Bill O'Reilly, and now... Dick Clark?
"Dick Clark is an aging, hair-dyed idiot," said Franken last night, referring to the celebrated host of "The $100,000 Pyramid" and "The Challengers." Moments earlier, Franken had signed a multimillion-dollar deal to host "The Krypton Franken," television's first liberal game show, for ABC.
"We're proud to have Al in the ABC family," said George Stephanopoulos, host of ABC's "This Week" and a longtime friend of Mr. Franken. "When Bill Cullen wouldn't return our calls, Al was right there, ready to step up to the plate."
In "Krypton," players will be tested on knowledge (Democratic politicians and legislation); physical ability (jumping over Senator Edward M. Kennedy and former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich); reflex speed (responses to the utterance "PRESIDENT SCALIA!"); mental agility (listening to Ralph Nader and rationalizing his run in 2000); and observation (House floor speeches, with bonus points for not falling asleep).
"Al will be great at hosting a game show," said Billy Kimball, Franken's radio producer. "This will be the biggest success since 'Clash.'"
A pilot episode circulated to journalists shows Senator John Kerry standing in for one of the contestants, but "he won't be on when we debut," said Mr. Franken. "Senator Kerry hurt his back after one too many flip-flops, but Senator Lott didn't even make it to the pilot. He failed the mental agility test after one too many excuses for supporting segregation."
But finding new contestants isn't the main problem, for the show is already facing legal trouble. "Can you believe Fox News sued us again?" Mr. Franken said in a worried tone. "They're saying they've trademarked the word 'the' for O'Reilly's show." Fox News attorney Christopher Silvestri did not return phone calls, but released the following statement: "The moment that our wonderful host Kiran Chetry used the word 'the' on the air, we filed our trademark application and it was approved promptly. Moreover, we consider being an egomaniacal moron on air to be the exclusive right of Ms. Chetry, and Mr. Franken has no legal basis for infringing on that right." To that, Mr. Franken responded, "She's calling ME a moron? At least I know the difference between John Kerry and Howard Dean, and between Abe Lincoln's assassin and Matthew Broderick's son."
All sniping aside, Mr. Franken relishes his new role. Will he model himself after one of the current reigning hosts? "I can't be Alex Trebek and I hope no one asks me to be. But I'd like that 'fro he had back when I first did Saturday Night Live. It would look really good on April Fool's Day."
"The Krypton Franken" debuts April 1, 2004, at 8 pm Eastern time on the ABC Television Network.
