Sometimes the "forwarded" or "joke" emails are actually worth reading! This one came from a friend and I thought I'd pass it along
All addresses were intentionally deleted so the people wouldn't be spam targets
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Subject: Hollywood Squares--When it was Good
> >
> >
> > You remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics,
> this may
> >bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from
> the
> >days when "HollywoodSquares" game show responses were spontaneous and
> >clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall
> was
> >the host asking the questions, of course.
> >
> > Q. Do female frogs croak?
> > A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
> >enough.
> >
> > Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
> >should you be?
> > A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
> >
> > Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
> > A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
> >
> > Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
> a man
> >or a woman?
> > A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> >
> > Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
> you
> >think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
> he's
> >married?
> > A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
> >
> > Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
> older?
> > A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> >
> > Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
> Love
> >You"?
> > A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
> twenty.
> >
> > Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> > A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
> >apartment.
> >
> > Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
> your
> >hands while talking?
> > A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter,
> and
> >I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
> >
> > Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> > A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
> >
> > Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
> going
> >to get any during the first year?
> > A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
> strawberries.
> >
> > Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> > A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
> >
> > Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
> nudist
> >camps. One is politics, what is the other?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
> >
> > Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
> closet?
> > A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the
> bedroom.
> >
> > Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls?
> > A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
> >
> > Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What
> will a
> >goose do?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
> >
> > Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
> birth to?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
> dark.
> >
> > Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with
> getting
> >into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
> > A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
> >
> >
> > Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what
> is
> >it?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
> neglected.
> >
> > Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on
> his
> >head, what was he trying to do?
> > A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
> >
> > Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or
> your
> >elephant?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
> >
> > Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> > A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to
> him.
> >
> > Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
> them
> >and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> > A. Charley Weaver: His feet
> >
> > Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should
> never do
> >in bed?
> > A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
>
