The Toronto Star's Vinay Menon penned a column on the demise of reality TV, saving plenty of ink for \"Who wants to marry my Dad?\", which premiered this past Monday. I thought I'd share his observations based on the closing credits' copious disclaimers. Foes of reality TV will enjoy this.
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The abysmally contrived Who Wants To Marry My Dad? starts with Don Mueller's four adult children — Heidi, Karla, Joe and Chris — holding open \"auditions.\" One by one, a gaggle of shallow, wannabe brides stiletto-step forth. Amid a peroxide-haze of bleached insincerity, they explain why they'd just love to marry Dad Mueller.
(\"I truly want to find my soulmate!\" was a common response.)
The rest of the show was a pastiche of stale gimmicks and devices: lie detector tests, fancy sports cars, vote-off stunts, group meals, teary confessionals and a maudlin musical score designed to punctuate the emotional flashpoints most viewers would surely miss since they'd be too busy yawning.
In fact, things only became interesting after the show ended. Though \"reality television\" has always been a popular misnomer, get a load of the disclaimers following Who Wants to Marry My Dad? :
* Portions of this program not affecting the outcome have been edited.
* The opening sequence contestant selection was a dramatization of a process that was conducted prior to taping and included participants who were not applying to be contestants.
* Winner and other participants have the option of taking separate trips.
* Participant family does not reside at filming location.
* The contestants may have consulted with producers regarding their choices and decisions.
Translation: We made a lot of this up; we used actors; the \"bride\" doesn't have to \"honeymoon\" with the \"groom\"; the Muellers don't really live in this mansion; we wrote lots of cheesy dialogue for the kids and told the women contestants exactly what to do.
No wonder the show's opening credits list four writers. If this is what passes for \"reality,\" then Buffy The Vampire Slayer should be rebroadcast on the Documentary Channel.
